Applying for jobs again. A quick recap of 2012 with me and jobs: unemployed for 6 months, worked part-time at Apple retail for 3 months, now work full-time as a PA for a motion graphics company.
The pay is significantly lower than the last “Job” job I had in 2008. Less than half, actually. How did I ever manage that much money? How could I ever walk away?
Oh yeah. The soul-sucking.
I suppose today I would put up with the soul-sucking to better pay bills. Credit cards haven’t been usable (maxed) since the wedding funtivities last year. Hospital bills…HA HA HA let’s not even…So I get by with rent and utilities paid, a few movies and eat-outs here and there each month.
My job now is still soul-sucking, but probably only 30% as much as the well-paid one. I’d say Apple was the most soul-sucking job of the 3. There is nothing I would rather do less than pretend to be interested and nice to everyone and everything 100% of the day for 10 hours. And I am claiming my back/insides are weird and hurt now because of standing at that job for 3 months.
I do certainly miss the ability to “purchase” something. Like saving up for a new TV, game system, camera, sound equipment, software, computer, trip…
I just got myself back on the “applying for jobz every day” horse this week. I would estimate I have applied for about 400+ jobs this year. I have email records to prove it. Today I applied for an Assistant Editor job at a couple of post-houses that do trailers and web-videos.
I’m convinced there is job out there that would only work me 40 hours yet pay me better than the 50+ I work now. Getting home at 7:30 every night is growing tiresome — by the time I might be motivated to tackle some writing or creative project it’s 10pm and I’m falling asleep on the couch already.
I yelled at myself today. I was on an epic 3-hour delivery way up in the valley to deliver a hard drive, sighing again about not making movies. It went something like this:
“Justin, do you actually want to be a film writer/director? Really? Do you want it so badly you can’t spend a free moment NOT doing it? Why aren’t you getting up at 5am every day to write like every single successful screenwriter story ever? Why don’t you come home to write the second you walk in the door? Is storytelling not in your soul? Do you not have the bug? Do you not have what it takes? If that’s the case, then find something real to do other than movies. And hurry up. You will not be a 50-year-old PA. I thought you wanted to do something with your life? WRITE OR GET OUT. Stop stinking up the place.”
So I’m going give it a try. Tomorrow I am setting my alarm at 5am and seeing what happens. It’s the only time any writing will happen tomorrow because it’s 12-12-12!*
* – Juliette’s birthday! Woohoo!!!